I got my hair cut today. There is an old, 70ish, woman who works at the barbershop I go to. She cuts hair, but she doesn’t really ever cut hair because no one goes to her because she is terrible/has a blonde afro/may or may not be a Cabbage Patch doll.
So, this walking-talking-mostly-talking piece of produce was standing, staring at a TV when I walked into the shop and sat down. For a couple minutes, she stood silent, eyes locked on the screen, which was tuned to Fox News. A few minutes into my haircut (being done by another woman because I prefer not to be given ice-pick sideburns because she felt like it), cabbage-lady started yelling.
“What happened? WHAT HAPPENED? I don’t understand what happened.”
The barber continued to cut my hair, and I continued to, um, let her cut my hair.
“Did it pass? WHAT IS HAPPENING?”
Maybe she couldn’t read. Maybe Fox News’ “OBAMA DESTROYS FREEDOM” (I’m guessing; I couldn’t see the screen) headline was confusing. Whatever.
“It passed, five to four,” I said.
“What do you mean, five to four?”
Then, the woman cutting my hair jumped in: “It just passed. It’s over. IT IS DONE, OK?”
“Ugh. He is a socialist. He. Is. A. Socialist.”